Note: This is Part 4 of an article I’m writing for eventual cleanup and submission to several magazines. See previous installments below.

In parts 2 & 3 of this article, I covered perception and how it’s important to only include those things that a point of view (POV) character can see, hear, feel, smell or taste. We also talked about how only including those things that it’s realistic for the character to be noticing or thinking about will help you avoid information dumps.

Now, let’s talk about what a POV characters knows and, perhaps more important, what he or she does not know.

Remember Jeryl-of-the-sparkling-eyes? Here’s an excerpt of my original draft of a scene in which Jeryl, a man from a wealthy 18^th century British family, is trying to explain marriage to Delinda, who is from a society where the concept does not exist:

He paused, surprised at how difficult it was to sum up the meaning of marriage in a few words. “They will live with each other and they will probably have children, and they will not have any other romantic...” He was starting to sweat now. “They will not...they will not...”

“They will not what?” asked Delinda. She was even more confused now than when he’d started his explanation.

Can you see the problem? Jeryl cannot actually know what Delinda is thinking. But, as a newbie author, I wanted to tell the reader that she did not understand his explanation. So I briefly switched into Delinda’s POV. In other words, I (gasp) head-hopped.

When my critique partner (AKA the POV Police) pointed this out to me, I argued. “The transition is perfectly clear,” I said. “The reader can tell what’s going on.”

“But I was just in his head, and now I’m hers. Then I’m back in his. It’s making me dizzy,” she replied.

I was adamant that, as long as the transitions were clear, it was okay to switch back and forth between POV characters in a scene. In the quoted chapter, Jeryl and Delinda are having a long discussion about their two cultures’ traditions regarding male/female relationships and attitudes about sex, which are about as different as it is possible to be. Each is, in turn, shocked, confused and intrigued by the other’s beliefs. I couldn’t see how I could convey this information effectively without head-hopping.

However, after ten contest judges (including some editors and agents) pointed out the same thing, I grumbled and set about rewriting the scene from a single point of view.

And, dammit, it was better.

There is a school of thought that, as long as transitions are smooth, there is nothing wrong with head-hopping. Most of the editors and agents that I spoke with, however, say that they find it disconcerting and that it pulls them out of the story. They say that, in general, it is better to have only one POV character per scene.

Although I was a reluctant convert to One Scene: One POV, I have become an avid proponent. It all goes back to emotional investment.

When I’m reading a scene with strong point of view, I get drawn into what the character is experiencing. I start to feel what the POV character is feeling. She’s upset and I reach for Kleenex. He’s scared--I have to pee. (Don’t believe me? Drink a lot of iced tea, then read a Stephen King book.)

If, in the middle of this experience, I am abruptly popped into another character’s head, it’s as if I’ve been slapped. Even if the transition is smooth, the connection between the reader and the character is severed, making the scene that much less compelling.

To figure out the best POV character for each scene, ask yourself “For whom are the stakes the greatest in this scene? Who will learn the most? Who cares the most?”

In the scene with Jeryl and Delinda, neither has a clear advantage. So, I took the scene as it was written, and made a list of the story points that I was trying to make, and the POV character at the time the point was included. I counted them up, and discovered that Jeryl had more of the points. Then, I looked at each of Delinda’s points and asked myself:

- Do I really need to keep this story point?

- Could the other POV character perceive this story point?

- Could the story point be moved to a different scene?

Here’s what I came up with:

Point of View Worksheet

Based on this, Jeryl is clearly the POV character.

The revised book did sell, by the way. You can buy a copy of Men in Chains by visiting the Virginia Reede link above.

One way to avoid the whole head-hopping dilemma is to write in first person, which I do in the Mercy Hollings series. While I love writing in first person, I acknowledge that there are some disadvantages to having only a single POV character for the entire book. I can only tell the story as Mercy perceives it. If something happens “off the page,” she has to find out about it by being told by another character. I can use memories and flashbacks, but have to make sure there’s a valid reason for Mercy to be having the particular memory at any given time. And, most of the time, she can only figure out what other people are thinking by their reactions to her.

I’ve seen books that switch from first to third person on a chapter-by-chapter basis, and I had no problems with them. Be aware that editors and agents signing a new writer or client may not agree. While they often claim to be looking for “something different,” they are referring to the story’s themes, characters and plots, not the way POV is handled.

Next installment: “Walk like John Wayne” -- Effective Character Voice.