There's got to be an easier way.

Okay, so I’m officially dating.  I have been on actual dates with actual men, and none of them said anything whatsoever about my nipples (please refer to earlier post).

What’s it like, dating after such a long hiatus?  In the immortal words of Yogi Berra, it’s déjà vu all over again.  What I mean is, despite my theoretical security and maturity and self-confidence and worldliness, I AM A COMPLETE WRECK ABOUT IT.

I never know what to wear.  Will I be too dressed up or too casual?  Does this shirt make me look fat?  Is that one too low-cut?  How dressed up will HE be...what if we don’t “match?”

Oh, no, he wants me to suggest a restaurant.  Now, do I pick someplace really casual, so he isn’t under pressure, or try something exotic to see if he’s adventurous, or someplace really elegant, to see if he will think it’s too expensive?  Why doesn’t HE just pick the place?

Should I assume that he will pay?  Should I offer?  Should I bring money with me just in case?

Am I talking too much?  I have a tendency to babble under pressure.

While guzzling an enormous martini might make me feel calmer, it might also make him think I’m a complete lush.  Or is he trying to get me drunk?

Okay, so the date went swimmingly.  I had fun, and I’m absolutely sure he did, too.  So, why hasn’t he called?   Is he waiting for me to call him?   Will he think I’m too needy if I do?

Oh!  The phone is ringing!  Is it...damn, it’s my sister.  No, really, I’m happy to talk to my sister.  I just thought it might be...

Oh, hell.  So much for maturity.

The landscape for dating has changed so much since I last went out with a strange guy that I'd be at a total loss. So you're not alone, Toni. Some things change...and some things never do, no matter how old we get. Just have a good time.

Hey, you can totally handle this dating thing. Just think what Mercy Holling would do! Really looking forward to the release, by the way!

Mmmm. I recently had an internet blind date who looked great on the screen and sounded okay over the phone. I was looking for the 5'9" man as posted, but apparently he didn't show. In his place was one who looked me squarely in the eyes and I'm 5'2" and had on heels. That is not 5'9", trust me on this one. I, too, was pondering what to wear, hair up or down, shades or not, heels with bows, v-neck, business wear, dressy casual, how much cash, what to order, perfume or no or just a smidge... Inquiring minds want to know these things.

And then when we sat down to our table, he immediately went for the large steak knife placed on the table, and never stopped waving the thing! I found myself tuning out his conversation about how he always orders the same thing every time at this restaurant, stopped wondering why his photo made him look 10 years younger, that he needed a facial and to lose the white tee shirt peeking out from under the crappy baby blue polo shirt, and instead I was fantasizing about grabbing that knife from his hand and using it on him. Suddenly, it no longer seemed important what underwear I had on, which eyeshadow I used and could he tell I had fake tans on my legs....

There you have it! He left unscathed - no giant Z slashed into his forehead. And why would he? Really. A giant L for loser would have been so much more appropriate. "You'll call me tonight, right?" he asked. "Sure," I lied...right after I get done darning some socks...as if.

Warm regards,
Mary Bogue
www.marybogue.com
creating passion one brushtroke at a time