When did it get so hard to get someone on the phone?

Those of you who aren’t writers might be under the impression that if a big New York publisher does a mass-market release of a new novel, they also provide some publicity and/or advertising.

Guess again.

With the exception of authors who are so famous they don’t actually need help with publicity (the publishers shell out for publicity and advertising because they’re afraid another publisher will steal them away), we writers are on our own.  Some people hire publicists, but they charge like attorneys, and they’re out of my price range (so far).  So I find myself on the phone, trying to get someone to talk to me.  Anyone.  Please!!!!

I’m getting ready to launch Angel of Mercy in Newport Beach, California, where the series is set, so I’m putting together a mini-publicity tour.  There’s a launch party at the Newport Landing, a real restaurant located next to Sam’s fictional boat rental business and with an outdoor patio overlooking the route of the very real Balboa Island Ferry.   I’m inviting local business and civic leaders and, most especially, media.

The problem is finding out exactly whom to invite.  This means getting past the receptionists and website “send-us-an-email-we’ll-never-actually-answer” links and getting an actual human on the phone.

Of course, I’m in Connecticut so I can’t even start making the phone calls until noon, because of the time difference.   And I mostly end up talking to voice mail.

Does anyone out there actually respond to their voice mail?

I understand that a lot of the exorbitant fees charged by publicists is because of their ability to get a warm body on the line.

My next book sale better come with a big honkin’ advance, because I am sooooo paying someone else to do this next time.